Mr Kwek mentioned about people who are indecisive on whether they want to take their alvls this year.
lol i am one of them.
but a decision will be made very soon.

so tired...
either i'm just lacking blood cells or there's simply too much work

off i go!  ¶ 22:13 0 Comments

  ahyong pester me to blog, so here I am despite my hectic schedule.

Firstly, let me talk about the Singapore-Brazil game yesterday. I must say Singapore played well during the 2nd half, having the lion's share of possession. However, the Singapore defence remains culpable, as always. Allowing Ronaldinho to juggle the ball into the net...that's ridiculous. I feel that Singapore could refine itself by replacing the whole backline, and a striker who can finish off chances. Will Raddy rectify this problem in time for the Asian Cup qualifier?

Now onto the second topic.
Ladies and gentleman,
IT'S 30 MORE DAYS TO THE DREADED PRELIMS.
Time is cruising by.
Today I suddenly had no mood to listen to lectures.
Brooding over the fact that I will never be able to catch up with the piling no of homework.
Jason says he will die during prelims.
I say I die more.
Assuming surgery is on 3rd week of Aug, I will take the 4th week of Aug of recuperate at home. GP gone.
1 week to study...eh wait...still need to catch up on what I have missed.
PRELIMS...KAMIKAZE MISSION
TIE A WHITE BAND ON MY HEAD
BOMBS AWAY!~



so shouldn't say I die more.
I'M ALREADY DONE FOR EVEN B4 IT STARTED.

and upon realising this fact
wouldn't you feel like just throwing the towel now?

looking at the endless pile of hw.
i can never catch up.
it's getting seemingly impossible to catch up, as your friends are busy too.
and I dun want to trouble them so much.
teachers...tch forget it.
some teachers dun even take initiative to offer assistance to me.
in fact I think whether I come to school or not they dun even care anymore.
Nvr even ask for my MC= I can pon anytime.

I am not angered by the fact that cancer has to strike me at a time like this.
There's always a reason behind everything.

Maybe sometimes, the towel has to be thrown afterall.
now my towel is in my hands, my hands raise up high.
in the upcoming days,
who knows.

you may only get to see me when you get your alvl results next year.  ¶ 19:22 0 Comments

  i'm back

so the aftermath of 4th chemo is worse than the other rounds
having a hard time to recover back to my normal state.
guess I'll need a few more days



well, at least no more cisplatin and etoposide being pumped into my body again!
despite them being such horrible chemicals I thank them for they are my saviours(i sound like some psycho chemist guy lol)
all that is left is 1-2 more 1/2 hr session of bleomycin
den 2nd week of aug begins the series of checkups that will lead to my surgery

a lvls.
to others it's getting nearer.
for me, it's getting
.....
.....
.....
distant.

but nevertheless everyone, work hard! =D
I will root for everyone even though I may not take it this yr!  ¶ 18:53 0 Comments

  white blood cells too low.
so chemo postponed to tmr-wed instead.

so doc gave me this chemical which I have to inject by myself in order to boost my white blood cells.
some of the class boys grew nervy and refused to look lol
esp LUIYONGKIT who freaked out xD

and when I finished injecting myself I accidentally poke my finger with the needle while attempting to close it. zzz...

school's getting tough these days. everyone's deprived of sleep.  ¶ 22:17 0 Comments

  well it's back to the hosp tmr...
just when I'm starting to get back into school life proper.
my poor appetite...

oh well, it will never be that proper.
not for now.
I am freaking worried.
Been thinking, if there were to be surgery [this itself is scary >.<],
2nd week on august spent in the hospital
3rd week to rest at home.
that leaves me, not much time eh.

sometimes I wonder why I am so stubborn.
why I am pushing myself so hard now, when knowing that there's no way I can be fully prepared in time for a levels.
i could just take a rest and take it nxt yr.

well, the truth is I am afraid.
of being alone.
of being out of place.
how the hell can I fit into another class if I repeat another yr?
who can I depend for help?
where can I find the motivation?
school will never be the same.

hmm this might be an emo post.
ok it is LOL.
but just need to let it out to feel better.

oh well, at least I will be cured =)
for the moment, I will continue being stubborn.

btw a funny video, spoof of the angry german kid.

Disclaimer: some foul language.  ¶ 21:45 0 Comments

 
Worried is the word to describe me now.  ¶ 18:40 0 Comments

  so back to school after 8 weeks of absence
so many things have changed since the last time i visited school

school was nice to treat everyone to a cornetto ice-cream for youth day
though it could have been a bribery for us to commend the school through the QSE survey (Lol, joking joking)

yup yup nice to be back
but i just have this strange feeling that something's different.

ah heck about it.

off i go. tmr's checkup and chemo starts at 8am. need to zzz...  ¶ 23:03 0 Comments

  well tomorrow school FINALLY begins again for me after such an extended break.
mixed feelings about it.
happy, because I will finally get to see my friends again and get myself working again.
a bit reluctant, because of the fantastic new timetable.


The fantastic timetable.

anyway I better get those notes ready and start mugging since I ain't have much time left.
-currently on my 3rd cycle of my BEP chemotherapy
-4th cycle to begin on 16 Jul-21 Jul so will be away in hospital again, will end on 30 Jul marking the end of my chemotherapy schedule
-depending on my oncologist and specialist, an operation to remove the remaining mass is likely to be on the 2nd week of August

it's going to be over soon. yeah!  ¶ 14:39 0 Comments