well it's back to the hosp tmr...
just when I'm starting to get back into school life proper.
my poor appetite...

oh well, it will never be that proper.
not for now.
I am freaking worried.
Been thinking, if there were to be surgery [this itself is scary >.<],
2nd week on august spent in the hospital
3rd week to rest at home.
that leaves me, not much time eh.

sometimes I wonder why I am so stubborn.
why I am pushing myself so hard now, when knowing that there's no way I can be fully prepared in time for a levels.
i could just take a rest and take it nxt yr.

well, the truth is I am afraid.
of being alone.
of being out of place.
how the hell can I fit into another class if I repeat another yr?
who can I depend for help?
where can I find the motivation?
school will never be the same.

hmm this might be an emo post.
ok it is LOL.
but just need to let it out to feel better.

oh well, at least I will be cured =)
for the moment, I will continue being stubborn.

btw a funny video, spoof of the angry german kid.

Disclaimer: some foul language.  ¶ 21:45