Beneath that smile...
Saturday 30 August 2008
Hello everyone, I'm back!
After 10 days in hospital, I was finally discharged yesterday.
Phew, what an experience. Here's how it went:
20 August: Admitted into the hospital.
21 August: D-Day! Woke up at 6am to bathe. Anxiety lvl highest at this point. Then at 7am the bed trolley came and I was transported into the operating threatre department. After final confirmation of my details and particulars, I was wheeled into the op theatre. They transfered me onto the operating bed and there I was, wondering of what will happen. Looked at the clock. 8am. Then the doctors started putting in IV plugs into my hands. Well, usually it's not that painful considering that I have been poked many times during chemo, but this time it hurts coz the the plugs were large ones. Inject local anathesia also no use, can feel the pain. Den they insert sth into my neck. And more plugs into my other hand. I was like, "omg, can you just put general anathesia into my bloodstream now?!", and soon they did.
A few seconds after being informed that they had administered it on me, I went to Lalaland. Zzz.....................................
22 August: The first thing I saw when I woke up was the clock in front of me. The time was 8. But I was in a different location and I heard the rough noises of nurses and doctors. I was suspecting I had slept for 24 hrs straight and I soon continued sleeping again. But the breathing tube was damn irritating, and soon I keep waking up again, with the instinct to remove the tube from my mouth LOL. Fully woke up around evening time when they FINALLY remove that annoying tube and my family and relatives came in by pairs to have a look at me. I glanced at my body and saw so many tubes inserted anywhere and everywhere. My voice was gone thanks to that tube.
Pain was tolerable as I was on morphine.
I confirmed with my parents on the fact that I had slept for 24 hrs! Den the shocking truth came out: THE OPERATION LASTED FOR 12 HRS. Rmb in my previous blogpost about the risks of the op? It happened, alright! The major vein got cut a little causing small blood veins near the heart to burst. Den I lost a lot of blood in the process. But luckily, they managed to patch the veins up and resumed the operation. Thank God, I survived.
23 August: Taken off from morphine, and the regular painkillers start coming in. Stated on some mini exercises to get my breathing back to normal and my body to move.
Pain was notcable, but strangely it was not that painful at the surgical site. IT WAS MY ACHING BODY THAT HURTED MORE LOL, AND THIS WOULD APPLY FOR THE REST OF MY STAY.
24 August: BB ICU, Hello general ward. so i recuperated slowly over the next few days.
26 August: The docs came in and say the chest tubes can be finally removed today, but they found my heartbeat rate to be faster than normal ever since the surgery. So they send me for a CT scan of the heart. I was like "NOOOOOOOOO, I WANTED TO GO HOME EARLY"
28 August: Ok heart no problem. Lucky. It appears that I was dehydrated, that's why my heart beat very fast. So they decided to take out the chest tubes. Each tube has a diameter of a 5 cent coin. So imagine 3 tubes. Sticking out from an area near my stomach, just below the nice scar I have now(oh yeah btw they glued it back no wonder not so pain). Pulling out these chest tubes was the most painful incident that ever happened in my life. Not only is it painful, you can actually feel sth like going through your body parts.Anyways, they spammed gauzes, secure them with tapes, den wrap the whole thing with 3 pressure bandages. So now I got a big patch of bandage on my stomach which I can only remove on monday. And now having some difficulty standing straight cos of that.
29 August: Discharged!
So finally this surgery episode is over. will not be able to do sports for 4 months and lift heavy stuff. can only sleep straight for the next few weeks. and now v hard to get out of bed. and a bit of pain sometimes, but tolerable though.
but still dunno whether further treatment is needed. pathology results are not out yet, so dunno whether the extracted tumour is benign or maglinant. Now praying that it is benign, so that it will be finally over.
what an experience it has been.
thanks everyone for their care and concern!
and thank you God for keeping me safe. ¶ 16:21 0 Comments
After 10 days in hospital, I was finally discharged yesterday.
Phew, what an experience. Here's how it went:
20 August: Admitted into the hospital.
21 August: D-Day! Woke up at 6am to bathe. Anxiety lvl highest at this point. Then at 7am the bed trolley came and I was transported into the operating threatre department. After final confirmation of my details and particulars, I was wheeled into the op theatre. They transfered me onto the operating bed and there I was, wondering of what will happen. Looked at the clock. 8am. Then the doctors started putting in IV plugs into my hands. Well, usually it's not that painful considering that I have been poked many times during chemo, but this time it hurts coz the the plugs were large ones. Inject local anathesia also no use, can feel the pain. Den they insert sth into my neck. And more plugs into my other hand. I was like, "omg, can you just put general anathesia into my bloodstream now?!", and soon they did.
A few seconds after being informed that they had administered it on me, I went to Lalaland. Zzz.....................................
22 August: The first thing I saw when I woke up was the clock in front of me. The time was 8. But I was in a different location and I heard the rough noises of nurses and doctors. I was suspecting I had slept for 24 hrs straight and I soon continued sleeping again. But the breathing tube was damn irritating, and soon I keep waking up again, with the instinct to remove the tube from my mouth LOL. Fully woke up around evening time when they FINALLY remove that annoying tube and my family and relatives came in by pairs to have a look at me. I glanced at my body and saw so many tubes inserted anywhere and everywhere. My voice was gone thanks to that tube.
Pain was tolerable as I was on morphine.
I confirmed with my parents on the fact that I had slept for 24 hrs! Den the shocking truth came out: THE OPERATION LASTED FOR 12 HRS. Rmb in my previous blogpost about the risks of the op? It happened, alright! The major vein got cut a little causing small blood veins near the heart to burst. Den I lost a lot of blood in the process. But luckily, they managed to patch the veins up and resumed the operation. Thank God, I survived.
23 August: Taken off from morphine, and the regular painkillers start coming in. Stated on some mini exercises to get my breathing back to normal and my body to move.
Pain was notcable, but strangely it was not that painful at the surgical site. IT WAS MY ACHING BODY THAT HURTED MORE LOL, AND THIS WOULD APPLY FOR THE REST OF MY STAY.
24 August: BB ICU, Hello general ward. so i recuperated slowly over the next few days.
26 August: The docs came in and say the chest tubes can be finally removed today, but they found my heartbeat rate to be faster than normal ever since the surgery. So they send me for a CT scan of the heart. I was like "NOOOOOOOOO, I WANTED TO GO HOME EARLY"
28 August: Ok heart no problem. Lucky. It appears that I was dehydrated, that's why my heart beat very fast. So they decided to take out the chest tubes. Each tube has a diameter of a 5 cent coin. So imagine 3 tubes. Sticking out from an area near my stomach, just below the nice scar I have now(oh yeah btw they glued it back no wonder not so pain). Pulling out these chest tubes was the most painful incident that ever happened in my life. Not only is it painful, you can actually feel sth like going through your body parts.Anyways, they spammed gauzes, secure them with tapes, den wrap the whole thing with 3 pressure bandages. So now I got a big patch of bandage on my stomach which I can only remove on monday. And now having some difficulty standing straight cos of that.
29 August: Discharged!
So finally this surgery episode is over. will not be able to do sports for 4 months and lift heavy stuff. can only sleep straight for the next few weeks. and now v hard to get out of bed. and a bit of pain sometimes, but tolerable though.
but still dunno whether further treatment is needed. pathology results are not out yet, so dunno whether the extracted tumour is benign or maglinant. Now praying that it is benign, so that it will be finally over.
what an experience it has been.
thanks everyone for their care and concern!
and thank you God for keeping me safe. ¶ 16:21 0 Comments
Tuesday 19 August 2008
Part 2: My Long Delayed emo post lol
Memories...
haha i know graduation day is like in october
but since yesterday was my last day of school for the year, I'm posting early.
It has been a wonderful 17 months with the class
i still rmb the first time I met up with the class
jasper shouting 0722 to grab the class' attention during the lvl camp
den got to know benjamin and jason
and den ah yong, chin keong and yongkit
they turn out to be some of my best friends in JC.
i rmb the class 1st mischievious act was to sabo Yong Kit as CT Rep
although yong kit pointed to the track, it was to no avail LOL
den slowly got to know the rest
and JC life sets in
from tutorials to lectures,
den to PW, CCA
but the class do set aside time for play by organising outings and for the boys, soccer
and of course, I rmb the care and concern the class has shown to me
like asking me if I'm ok when I was sick throughout the 17 months
like the boys fetching me home when I could not even breathe when walking anymore
like visiting me in the hospital when I was first diagnosed with cancer.
the journey should last for 20 months.
but sadly, I have to drop out with 3 months to go
so near, yet so far.
Thanks for the memories 0722. May we meet again.
op in 2 days' time.
let's go
whatever happens, it's all in God's hands. ¶ 19:24 0 Comments
haha i know graduation day is like in october
but since yesterday was my last day of school for the year, I'm posting early.
It has been a wonderful 17 months with the class
i still rmb the first time I met up with the class
jasper shouting 0722 to grab the class' attention during the lvl camp
den got to know benjamin and jason
and den ah yong, chin keong and yongkit
they turn out to be some of my best friends in JC.
i rmb the class 1st mischievious act was to sabo Yong Kit as CT Rep
although yong kit pointed to the track, it was to no avail LOL
den slowly got to know the rest
and JC life sets in
from tutorials to lectures,
den to PW, CCA
but the class do set aside time for play by organising outings and for the boys, soccer
and of course, I rmb the care and concern the class has shown to me
like asking me if I'm ok when I was sick throughout the 17 months
like the boys fetching me home when I could not even breathe when walking anymore
like visiting me in the hospital when I was first diagnosed with cancer.
the journey should last for 20 months.
but sadly, I have to drop out with 3 months to go
so near, yet so far.
Thanks for the memories 0722. May we meet again.
op in 2 days' time.
let's go
whatever happens, it's all in God's hands. ¶ 19:24 0 Comments
Friday 15 August 2008
Today's table tennis semi final match between Singapore and South Korea was so exciting. The match was so intense that it lasted for nearly 4 hours. But Singapore won 3-2 in the end, meaning that we are on course to win our first Olympic medal since 1960! Well done, Team Singapore!
Now beginning my post proper...
Barclays English Premier League 2008/2009 Analysis by z@on
It's that time of the season again where soccer fans rejoice
The new EPL season will be kicking off tomorrow.
Here's my prediction for this season:
1)Manchester United
2)Chelsea
3)Arsenal
4)Liverpool
5)Tottenham
6)Aston Villa
7)Everton
8)Portsmouth
9)Newcastle
10)West Ham
11)Wigan
12)Manchester City
13)Sunderland
14)Blackburn
15)Fulham
16)Middlesbrough
17)West Bromwich Albanion
18)Bolton
19)Stoke
20)Hull City
Suprise, suprise. I am once again tipping Man U to win the title.
Hard to decide among the Top5 in my list, as each has their own problems.
Man U is facing a striker crisis, and C Ronaldo may not play as well as last season.
Afterall, his loyalty may have now already be with Madrid as there are rumours that he has already signed a pre-contract. But Berbatov is coming, so we'll see.
Chelsea now has Scolari, a world-class manager in their hands, and has also solved their RB problem by bringing in Bosingwa. Chelsea seems to be more organised and experienced for this season. But Scolari boh experience in managing European clubs. And Chelsea also lacks the extra "punch". Malouda is not who he used to be, and so is SWP. Anelka is inconsistent while Drogba is getting old. But Robinho may be coming, so we'll see.
Liverpool signed Robbie Keane, but so far from what I see in pre-season matches, he and Torres don't click very well. Rafa Benitez rotation policy will prove to be Liverpool's undermining, together with boardroom problems.
The Spuds, aka Tottenham, has made some good signings in Luka Modric, Bently (that traitor)and Dos Santos. But Keane has left and Berbatov is set to follow suit, leaving Spuds with a striker crisis. But if they do manage to sign Arshavin, then maybe things will change. We'll see.
Finally my dear Arsenal. With the departures of Hleb, Lehmann, Flamini, Gilberto and Hoyte, the squad is getting thin. Ramsey and Wilshere are set to shine, but they are far too young. Injuries are also a main concern, with Diaby and Rosicky always injured. Basically there's a midfield crisis. But Wenger say he'll bring in a experienced midfielder, we'll see. Sami Nasri, touted as the next Zidane, is one to watch out for.
so there we have it. Top 5 analysis.
Although I tip Man U to win title, I silently hope that Arsenal can pop out a suprise and win the trophy this season.
With that, let the new season begin! ¶ 18:47 0 Comments
Now beginning my post proper...
Barclays English Premier League 2008/2009 Analysis by z@on
It's that time of the season again where soccer fans rejoice
The new EPL season will be kicking off tomorrow.
Here's my prediction for this season:
1)Manchester United
2)Chelsea
3)Arsenal
4)Liverpool
5)Tottenham
6)Aston Villa
7)Everton
8)Portsmouth
9)Newcastle
10)West Ham
11)Wigan
12)Manchester City
13)Sunderland
14)Blackburn
15)Fulham
16)Middlesbrough
17)West Bromwich Albanion
18)Bolton
19)Stoke
20)Hull City
Suprise, suprise. I am once again tipping Man U to win the title.
Hard to decide among the Top5 in my list, as each has their own problems.
Man U is facing a striker crisis, and C Ronaldo may not play as well as last season.
Afterall, his loyalty may have now already be with Madrid as there are rumours that he has already signed a pre-contract. But Berbatov is coming, so we'll see.
Chelsea now has Scolari, a world-class manager in their hands, and has also solved their RB problem by bringing in Bosingwa. Chelsea seems to be more organised and experienced for this season. But Scolari boh experience in managing European clubs. And Chelsea also lacks the extra "punch". Malouda is not who he used to be, and so is SWP. Anelka is inconsistent while Drogba is getting old. But Robinho may be coming, so we'll see.
Liverpool signed Robbie Keane, but so far from what I see in pre-season matches, he and Torres don't click very well. Rafa Benitez rotation policy will prove to be Liverpool's undermining, together with boardroom problems.
The Spuds, aka Tottenham, has made some good signings in Luka Modric, Bently (that traitor)and Dos Santos. But Keane has left and Berbatov is set to follow suit, leaving Spuds with a striker crisis. But if they do manage to sign Arshavin, then maybe things will change. We'll see.
Finally my dear Arsenal. With the departures of Hleb, Lehmann, Flamini, Gilberto and Hoyte, the squad is getting thin. Ramsey and Wilshere are set to shine, but they are far too young. Injuries are also a main concern, with Diaby and Rosicky always injured. Basically there's a midfield crisis. But Wenger say he'll bring in a experienced midfielder, we'll see. Sami Nasri, touted as the next Zidane, is one to watch out for.
so there we have it. Top 5 analysis.
Although I tip Man U to win title, I silently hope that Arsenal can pop out a suprise and win the trophy this season.
With that, let the new season begin! ¶ 18:47 0 Comments
Tuesday 12 August 2008
another funny conversation, this time with my oncologist ytd.
DR: So are you scared?
Me: Yea, of course.
DR: Well, it's normal to be scared. If you're not scared, then you're not human.I'm scared too.
i dunno whether to cry or laugh. xD
anyway champions league action kicks off tmr!
FC Twente vs Arsenal FC
here's hoping that my fav team has a successful season ahead xD ¶ 21:17 0 Comments
DR: So are you scared?
Me: Yea, of course.
DR: Well, it's normal to be scared. If you're not scared, then you're not human.I'm scared too.
i dunno whether to cry or laugh. xD
anyway champions league action kicks off tmr!
FC Twente vs Arsenal FC
here's hoping that my fav team has a successful season ahead xD ¶ 21:17 0 Comments
Thursday 7 August 2008
Part 1: A LVLS: About 80 Days ...+365 days left
so most people should know by now, I have decided to take a levels next year.
because I foresee that I will need quite a while to recover from my surgery.
Surgery will be on 21st August.
A median sternotomy will be done.
"Median sternotomy is a type of surgical procedure in which a vertical inline incision is made along the sternum, after which the sternum itself is divided, or "cracked"."
ok so I will have a wonderful scar after the surgery LOL. With broken BONES.
anyways had an appointment with my surgeon on tuesday. It went like this:
DR: Ok, to remove the tumor, we will have to break your breastbone.
Me: Ok, that settles it. Broken bones will take long time to heal. BB ALvls
DR: The risk of this surgery is bleeding, infection.
Me: Ok, every surgery got this risk...
DR: The chances of you dying is about 5%
Me: Ok, you're scaring me a bit here...why can't you phrase it nicer such as "The rate of success of the operation is 95%"
DR: But I am quite concerned about this major vein over here, it is being enveloped by the tumor, I cant see it that clearly in this CT Scan. But dun worry we will be very very careful.
Me: OK I AM DAMN SCARED NOW
and dunno why, tears suddenly welled up in my eyes. I have never been this scared in my entire life. Tried not to think about it on my way home, but to no avail.
den i surfed the Net for more info about my operation. The post-operative pain is said to be excruciating. Suddenly, I now more worried about it than the operation itself. Omg, will I be able to endure the pain?
But decided not to think too much about it le. Whatever will be, will be. For now, I will just pray hard and hope everything goes smoothly.
yawn so tired la, I shall continue part 2 of my post tmr.
Be warned that part 2 will be quite an emo post LOL ¶ 22:04 0 Comments
because I foresee that I will need quite a while to recover from my surgery.
Surgery will be on 21st August.
A median sternotomy will be done.
"Median sternotomy is a type of surgical procedure in which a vertical inline incision is made along the sternum, after which the sternum itself is divided, or "cracked"."
ok so I will have a wonderful scar after the surgery LOL. With broken BONES.
anyways had an appointment with my surgeon on tuesday. It went like this:
DR: Ok, to remove the tumor, we will have to break your breastbone.
Me: Ok, that settles it. Broken bones will take long time to heal. BB ALvls
DR: The risk of this surgery is bleeding, infection.
Me: Ok, every surgery got this risk...
DR: The chances of you dying is about 5%
Me: Ok, you're scaring me a bit here...why can't you phrase it nicer such as "The rate of success of the operation is 95%"
DR: But I am quite concerned about this major vein over here, it is being enveloped by the tumor, I cant see it that clearly in this CT Scan. But dun worry we will be very very careful.
Me: OK I AM DAMN SCARED NOW
and dunno why, tears suddenly welled up in my eyes. I have never been this scared in my entire life. Tried not to think about it on my way home, but to no avail.
den i surfed the Net for more info about my operation. The post-operative pain is said to be excruciating. Suddenly, I now more worried about it than the operation itself. Omg, will I be able to endure the pain?
But decided not to think too much about it le. Whatever will be, will be. For now, I will just pray hard and hope everything goes smoothly.
yawn so tired la, I shall continue part 2 of my post tmr.
Be warned that part 2 will be quite an emo post LOL ¶ 22:04 0 Comments
